#16 – Dead Black Musicians
April 7, 2008
If you’re white and someone mentions a great dead musician, first thing that comes to mind is Elvis. If your Black and someone mentions a great dead musician, you have an assortment of people to choose from. Why is this? Because all great Black musicians are dead, and the ones that aren’t dead yet will probably be dead soon. Black people and dead musicians go together like white people and mayonnaise, it just fits.
The reason Black people love some dead musicians more than others is simple. Because they died during a high in their careers cementing their place in history (with some exceptions). Whats more exclusive than that? (Tip to Soulja Boy & Lil Wayne: Die now you’ll be a legend.) Black people feel very strongly about their lost musicians, so it’s best not to criticize them. For example, Biggie and Tupac, I advise not to switch the radio station while riding in a Black mans car if one of them was playing. That’s ultimate disrespect and is punishable with a choking.
Most Black people don’t enjoy the music until the artist is dead. For maximum originality effect, its best to wait a couple of years, and then begin bumping that artists tracks. This way you give the illusion that you brought that artist back from the dead. Good Black artists to bring back are dead 90’s artists, this way you can pull off the cool but classic style.
Most Black people will have all the CDs of their favorite dead artists and think very highly of them. If you ask to borrow the discs and return the discs with a single scratch, this is an unforgivable offense. You are in immediate danger, especially if white, and the best thing to do is offer a large sum of money or evacuate the premises. If not, an unfortunate event may occur.
There are many places to enjoy dead Black musicians such as in the bedroom for example. While you’re having an intimate moment with your partner remember to blame Marvin Gaye for your mothers accidental lovechild/you.
For White People: Name dropping is a big deal. If a Black person asks you your favorite rapper, do not reply Mos Def. Make sure you say someone dead but kind of unknown or old school, for example Big L or Eazy E. If you happen to mention Niggas With Attitude, for your own safety say it in acronym form. When speaking to the more “old school” Negro, mention James Brown and how his recent death still has you shook.
R.I.P - James Brown, Nat King Cole, J. Dilla, Eazy E, Big L, Tupac Shakur, Biggie Smalls, Stack Bundles, Barry White, Sam Cooke, Jimi Hendrix, Aaliyah, Left Eye, Pimp C, and DJ Screw and members of the S.U.C., Ike Turner, Ray Charles, Gereld & Sean Levert, Luther Vandross, Jam Master Jay, Freaky Tah, Big Pun, Soulja Slim, and Rick James, bitch.
If you would like to add to this list, leave a comment, and I’ll add them promptly.
Very nice blog. I like it.
catch22 | April 7, 2008Very nice blog. I like it.
J. Dilla mang...dont sleep.
cease | April 7, 2008J. Dilla mang…dont sleep.
I still wear my flea market Aaliyah t-shirt. You
platenuts | April 7, 2008I still wear my flea market Aaliyah t-shirt. You know the ghetto t’s with the RIP and her birthdate and date of death.
pour out a little Ole English
http://www.platenuts.com
RIP to Freaky Tah, Ja Rule, Big Pun
Baller | April 7, 2008RIP to Freaky Tah, Ja Rule, Big Pun
lol rip to ja rules career baller
imaG | April 7, 2008lol rip to ja rules career baller
Proof
Baller | April 7, 2008Proof
Very Nice Post.
TechBunnie716 | April 7, 2008Very Nice Post.
What's with the muslim ads? LOL Great post! http://bestparentever.com
Best Parent Ever | April 7, 2008What’s with the muslim ads? LOL
Great post!
http://bestparentever.com
JA RULE SUCKS nice post again <3
jen | April 7, 2008JA RULE SUCKS
nice post again
<3
[...] anythingBlack where we talk about anything Black
Throwback Tuesday: Are You That Somebody? | anythingBlack | April 8, 2008[...] anythingBlack where we talk about anything Black « #16 – Dead Black Musicians Throwback Tuesday: Are You That Somebody? April 8th, [...]
soulja slim
thejuggernaut | April 8, 2008soulja slim
I was gonna add soulja slim last night thanks for
imaG | April 8, 2008I was gonna add soulja slim last night thanks for remindin me
that james brown bit made me LOL, son.
jblaze | April 8, 2008that james brown bit made me LOL, son.
rofl, "Musicians."
Zerocyde | April 11, 2008rofl, “Musicians.”
don't forget about mac dre! v-a-double l-e-j-o!
romper room | April 11, 2008don’t forget about mac dre! v-a-double l-e-j-o!
Why would u look up to a person who was
juck | April 16, 2008Why would u look up to a person who was a “gangsta and thug”?All four of those rappers in that pic were shot cause they were into thuggery.I think they gave black people a bad name.Although Tupac was a great actor.I am white and I hate Elvis.I do look up to MLK and I will say my biggest hero although he is living is ALI.
actually altho the other 3 were mere good rappers, 2pac
de unknown | July 25, 2008actually altho the other 3 were mere good rappers, 2pac was something else he had meaning in his songs jus check out – changes, ghetto gospel, brendas got a baby, keep ya head up, dear mama, shed so many tears songs that you wouldnt see current wannabee gangstas 50 cent doin, 2pac was a great actor and this violence we see altho he rapped bout it if u listen to his interviews he was all bout love nd thuggin wasnt rle his nature. Eazy E died of a disease, Biggie wasnt even a thug, nd i dnt see da last rapper clearly so i cnt talk bout him
First, let me say that I enjoy reading this blog.
Dawn | November 17, 2008First, let me say that I enjoy reading this blog. I discovered “Stuff White People Like” and laughed because I know so many white people that fit the stereotypes depicted in that blog. I wondered if there was a “Stuff Black People Like,” blog and discovered there are several. I find this one to be the most humorous.
That being said, I have a humble criticism and I hope you will take it in the spirit that I offer it. Your grammar is atrocious. You tend to mix tenses, create run-on sentences, and over use colloquial phrases. I find your poor grammar distracting at times, which is unfortunate because the blog has so much potential. I don’t know if you are aware of the fact that the guy(?) that created Stuff White People Like parlayed it’s popularity into a published book being offered at major book retailers. I am certainly not implying that you mimic his accomplishment, but it is something to consider. You have opened a door for yourself, why not maximize its potential?
Without sounding facetious, I suggest you pick up a copy of The Only Grammar Book You’ll Ever Need
by Susan Sommers Thurman. It is an excellent desktop reference.
Peace to you.
Why break out the red pen, Dawn? You said "humble"
Susan | January 23, 2009Why break out the red pen, Dawn? You said “humble” criticism—that’s all good. I see.
But in regard to “correcting” the grammar, that’s irrelevant. Writing comes in all shapes and sizes and doesn’t always need to fit into a neatly-composed grammatical/syntactical box. Sure, the author should employ basic writing mechanics so the piece is legible, but unless there are glaring “mistakes,” I say leave it be.
I know you were talking to the author and speaking to his potential to publish or whatnot, but I don’t see the need to get all technical. There are no gross errors.
Just a little crit to your crit. =)
Thank you Susan :) I wasn't writing this with for
imaG | January 24, 2009Thank you Susan
I wasn’t writing this with for school – I was writing for fun 
nigga tupac aint dead!!!!!
ghetto negro | February 2, 2009nigga tupac aint dead!!!!!
i love cb forever i am a true fan !!
Matteo Leblanc | March 24, 2009i love cb forever i am a true fan !!
Dolla...he recently got shot In LA. Also the Mac Dre
Brandon | June 16, 2009Dolla…he recently got shot In LA. Also the Mac Dre like the guy said…Oh yeah… Ol Dirty Bastard.
R.I.P. Michael Jackson
Tevin | July 7, 2009R.I.P. Michael Jackson