Announcement: 

I’ll be on the show on NPR today around 12PM Central or a few minutes later. If you want to tune in just visit this link and type in your zip code so you can find your station! Hopefully I’ll do okay!

It was a great competition and they were head to head the whole time, but unfortunately there can only be one winner! So, the winner of aB’s first Tell Me Why Competition is………….Young B, winning by five votes against the “Stroke my D*ck” video. She won with this picture appropriately named “D*ck Sucka”

So when you see this Young B…send me an email (anythingblack@gmail.com) to claim your prize.

To everyone else - get your tell me why pictures and videos ready for the next competition, I want it to be bigger and better.

imaG - Got pulled over last night. Now I gotta walk to the radio station tomorrow or catch the bus. Depressing much. But I don’t want to cancel. This sucks. Totally ruined my break.

ANNOUNCEMENT:

imaG is going on the NPR’s (National Public Radio) News and Notes with Farai Chideya on MONDAY, May 12th!!!

Make sure you tune in at 12 o’ clock Central to listen in. Hopefully all goes well, this will be my first appearance on the radio. I’m a star.

DON’T FORGET TO VOTE IN THE TELL ME WHY COMPETITION - CLICK HERE

Self Portrait (+10 inches of manpower)

After a long day being a G, I’m just trying to get some grub. As always just trying do my thing, but these white people won’t leave me alone. I’m at McDonalds trying to get motherfuc*in Hot n Spicy McChicken, and my white classmate struts up and says, “G, you know you have high blood pressure, I don’t think you should eat that, you should probably get a salad.” In my head I’m like, what the fu*k is a salad? I need meat man, I’m hungry. I ain’t no rabbit.

And the funny thing is I don’t even have high blood pressure, and I’m far from chubby. So I’m like wow I got stereotyped like crazy, he’s probably going to ask me which part of Africa I came from next and if we live in mud huts. Anyways, he bought a salad, and I purchased a Hot N Spicy McChicken. And then he even says, “Do you even know what’s in that? You probably wouldn’t eat it if you did.” Tell me why he wants me to go hungry? Damn homie, let me eat!

This dude didn’t even look like he was enjoying his salad (I was dying in laughter on the inside). First, he like doused it in 2 packs of ranch dressing, then added croûtons and mixed everything up, by the time he was done, it looked like some soup or something. I’m pretty sure it was unhealthier than my Hot N Spicy. The guy thought he was saving the world or something with his Super Salad.

Whatever.

To my Black people on the real -

Quit with the overeating bullsh*t. That sh*t is ridiculous. Ni*gas is dying from eating. How you gonna be so greedy that you die from eating? I’m tired of seeing 5 year old girls who weigh more than me with hypertension and diabetes. This one girl came to stay in my house…(Lord forgive me) 9 years old, 300+ pounds. Why was she in my house? I dont know, but she was an eating machine. She didn’t leave nothing for anyone. I would come home and she would be laying on the couch with a plate on her stomach. I seen her drink a whole soda in 10 seconds and crush the can, smh. But yeah, TELL ME WHY? I heard someone in the kitchen in the middle of the night, so I walked in there and I aint see noone? Low and behold this girl was hiding in the pantry closet beastin on food, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I wished I never looked because she scared the sh*t out of me.

Sometimes I was afraid that she would hurt me, because she weighed almost twice as much as me So I never denied her food.

Moral:

Black people: Watch your kids they getting too fat too young. If your right hand makes you eat too much….cut it off.

White people: Don’t talk down on Black peoples food when we’re eating. It’s offensive and we really don’t care what you have to say about it.

DONT FORGET TO VOTE IN THE TELL ME WHY COMPETITION CLICK HERE

Obama won the North Carolina primary tonight and it’s about that time for that shady Clinton to fall back and go sit her ass down. Although Clinton is expected to win Indiana tonight, North Carolina is a bigger state and has more delegates.

The shady Clinton mafia are not playing around, they are going to try to straight up gank the election or make sure Obama is damaged so much with “under-educated” white voters that he loses the presidential race. Black voters have been the most loyal segment to the Democratic Party (even blind support) but this is how we are repaid by the party establishment under the leadership of the Clintons.

It’s telling that the most loyal Clinton backers are under-educated and older white folks. SMH.

Related to: Barack Obamas New Campaign Ad.

DONT FORGET TO VOTE IN THE TELL ME WHY COMPETITION CLICK HERE

- Tybossip, couldn’t have said it better

From me.

Although white people love having Black friends, Black people normally don’t feel the same way. This makes them feel as if they are betraying their race. A Black person will have the occasional white friend to reap the benefits, but generally this relationship is not taken seriously by the Black individual. Black people do not like to be invited to large white gatherings. This is due to the fact that Black people can become quickly agitated when surrounded by too many white people.

When Black people come together, they love to look at the peculiarities of the white culture and have a laugh. This is because white people participate in what they consider life threatening extra-curricular activities - Rock climbing, power walking*, skydiving and more. (Black people don’t believe in puting their life at risk for no reason, its an everyday event for some). If you ask a Black person why a white person partakes in a certain activity, expect, “because he’s white” as an answer. This is commonly heard in the Black community when speaking about their opposite.

Sample Question:

Mama, why that whiteboy smell like he ain’t taken a shower?

Answer:

Because he’s white and white people don’t shower everyday.

Because he’s white is a simple answer to a complex question. The truth is Black people don’t know why white people do the things they do. So the best thing to do is make fun of it. Black people especially enjoy upsetting a white person, and then making fun of them when they raise their voice. When white people get upset, they tend to sound even more white, which is hilarious to the Black individual. Occasionally a white person may slip up and use the N word in front of multiple Black individuals. When this happens, the prognosis is generally poor.

When white in a Black community, the best way to prevent being made fun of is to leave. Do not try and fit in, this normally ends up in either a robbery or a choking. Do not try to play basketball, the film White Men Can’t Jump ruined it for all white people, blame Woody. When being ridiculed for being white, best thing to do is not reply and laugh it off and then take your Black friends out to lunch on you. After a few weeks of this the ridiculing will stop and you will be deemed, “a cool whiteboy.” Once deemed a cool whiteboy, Black women are available for you to date.

Black people always love to laugh at white people getting injured during extreme sports.

If you do extreme sports and fall in front of a crowd of Black people, the roasting will not end and you will always be remembered as the whiteboy who busted his a*s.

DONT FORGET TO VOTE IN THE TELL ME WHY COMPETITION CLICK HERE

Crazy ass b*tch on the train. Can’t bring n*ggas like this in public at all.

DONT FORGET TO VOTE IN THE TELL ME WHY COMPETITION CLICK HERE